Det är sjuk, folk som gör allt rätt får ingenting tillbaka.
Ska de va så svårt att få leva ett drägligt liv?
OM man pluggar på halvtid d.v.s. 2 dagar i månaden är man i skolan och man får 4500 från csn.
Man bor ensam i en lägenhet och har hyra, el och andra räkningar att betala. klarar mig sig då på 4500?
Svaret på den frågan är enkel Nej de gör man inte.
Att få jobb är inte det enklaste i detta sammahälle så man står där med sitt csn och är redo för att kunna jobba heltid, man söker jobb varje dag och gör allting rätt men man får ändå ingen hjälp i från kommunen! Är de så det ska vara? Folk som gör allt rätt får ingenting medans Alkolister, missbrukar och andra dräg får precis som dom vill. Det är väl inte rättvist eller är det?
Man kanske ska ta och skaffa sig ett jobb som alkolist de låter som så i denna kommunen.
lördag 5 december 2015
lördag 31 oktober 2015
Rädslan för min egen hem stad
Det finns en anledning till att man inte ska lita på allt och alla. Och det fick jag erfara ännu en gång i går kväll. Jag har en tendens att hamna bland idioter av någon anledning, varför dras dom till mig?
Var och festade med styvbrorsan och redan i början av kvällen kändes det inte helt rätt där. Grabbarna var väldigt påträngande och jobbiga redan när jag kom dit och brorsan varken sa eller gjorde något.
Som den ensamma tjejen jag var i gruppen så skulle jag få bestämma vad vi skulle göra.
Jag bestämmde att vi skulle åka och bowla inne på stan. dock så skulle dom precis stänga bowlingen så då ville grabbarna åka vidare, så jag gav förslaget att vi kunde åka och kolla på jay smith, I ett område jag känner. De lät lockande även för dom, så jag går in på toaletten innan vi ska fara vidare är borta i ca 2 minuter och på den tiden har grabbarna bestämmt att ne vi ska åka till härnösand, de kändes inte alls bra för mig så jag leder chauffören åt ett helt annat håll och när dom vägrar släppa av mig så öppnar jag bara dörren och går ut i farten.
Chauffören hade ju så klart hunnit sakta ner då jag öppnade dörren så jag behövde inte kliva ut i någon hög hastighet. Polisen var bakom så grabbarna fick lite panik så min bror kliver ur bilen och frågar vad det är och jag säger bara att de känns inte bra, det känns inte rätt.
När grabbarna har lämnat mig där så ringer jag min far och kollar vart han är, och vad han gjort. Sa att jag dyker upp på en stund, ringer sedan min bästa vän Chilli och där bryter jag ihop, då faller allting på plats ordentligt då inser jag det som jag hade haft känslan av hela kvällen. Jag skulle ha blivit våldtagen av dom om jag hade följt med så jag gråter i telefonen, och vet inte riktigt vad jag ska göra.
Efter många om och men så bestämmer jag mig att jag ska inte vara ensam just nu så jag går till min vän och stannar där någon timma. Jag orkade inte gå till far just då, vill inte berätta vad som hänt för honom. Så jag sitter hos min vän en stund och lugna ner mig innan jag går hem igen till mig. På vägen hem känner jag mig så otrygg så jag ringer min vän och ber han hålla mig sällskap. Så vi pratar hela vägen hem.
Jag har då aldrig känt mig så här rädd någon gång i mitt liv här i trakten. och då har jag ändå blivit misshandlad ute på byn en gång tidigare. Men jag har aldrig varit rädd efter det, Nu däremot så känner jag mig både otrygg och rädd här. Jag älskar att vara hemma i kommunen jag växt upp i, jag älskar att jag har karaten, musiken och teatern igen i mitt liv. Just nu sitter jag och funderar är det värt denna rädsla som jag känner just nu. Visst det är bara dagen efter händelsen och det kan kännas bättre om några dagar vem vet, men är det meningen att man ska behöva vara rädd för sin egen styvbror? att man ska behöva känna att familjen inte hjälper en?
Jag är glad att jag har världense bästa vän som alltid finns där för mig. Chilli du är guld värd. Tack för att du finns min älskade vän. Du betyder allt för mig. <3 Vad hade jag gjort utan dig igår?! Du är bäst.
Var och festade med styvbrorsan och redan i början av kvällen kändes det inte helt rätt där. Grabbarna var väldigt påträngande och jobbiga redan när jag kom dit och brorsan varken sa eller gjorde något.
Som den ensamma tjejen jag var i gruppen så skulle jag få bestämma vad vi skulle göra.
Jag bestämmde att vi skulle åka och bowla inne på stan. dock så skulle dom precis stänga bowlingen så då ville grabbarna åka vidare, så jag gav förslaget att vi kunde åka och kolla på jay smith, I ett område jag känner. De lät lockande även för dom, så jag går in på toaletten innan vi ska fara vidare är borta i ca 2 minuter och på den tiden har grabbarna bestämmt att ne vi ska åka till härnösand, de kändes inte alls bra för mig så jag leder chauffören åt ett helt annat håll och när dom vägrar släppa av mig så öppnar jag bara dörren och går ut i farten.
Chauffören hade ju så klart hunnit sakta ner då jag öppnade dörren så jag behövde inte kliva ut i någon hög hastighet. Polisen var bakom så grabbarna fick lite panik så min bror kliver ur bilen och frågar vad det är och jag säger bara att de känns inte bra, det känns inte rätt.
När grabbarna har lämnat mig där så ringer jag min far och kollar vart han är, och vad han gjort. Sa att jag dyker upp på en stund, ringer sedan min bästa vän Chilli och där bryter jag ihop, då faller allting på plats ordentligt då inser jag det som jag hade haft känslan av hela kvällen. Jag skulle ha blivit våldtagen av dom om jag hade följt med så jag gråter i telefonen, och vet inte riktigt vad jag ska göra.
Efter många om och men så bestämmer jag mig att jag ska inte vara ensam just nu så jag går till min vän och stannar där någon timma. Jag orkade inte gå till far just då, vill inte berätta vad som hänt för honom. Så jag sitter hos min vän en stund och lugna ner mig innan jag går hem igen till mig. På vägen hem känner jag mig så otrygg så jag ringer min vän och ber han hålla mig sällskap. Så vi pratar hela vägen hem.
Jag har då aldrig känt mig så här rädd någon gång i mitt liv här i trakten. och då har jag ändå blivit misshandlad ute på byn en gång tidigare. Men jag har aldrig varit rädd efter det, Nu däremot så känner jag mig både otrygg och rädd här. Jag älskar att vara hemma i kommunen jag växt upp i, jag älskar att jag har karaten, musiken och teatern igen i mitt liv. Just nu sitter jag och funderar är det värt denna rädsla som jag känner just nu. Visst det är bara dagen efter händelsen och det kan kännas bättre om några dagar vem vet, men är det meningen att man ska behöva vara rädd för sin egen styvbror? att man ska behöva känna att familjen inte hjälper en?
Jag är glad att jag har världense bästa vän som alltid finns där för mig. Chilli du är guld värd. Tack för att du finns min älskade vän. Du betyder allt för mig. <3 Vad hade jag gjort utan dig igår?! Du är bäst.
onsdag 28 oktober 2015
På gång med revyn
Ja då är man igång med revyn ordentligt då.
Förra veckan började vi hår träna på scenen och det går väldigt bra för oss.
De första möterna vi hade i september så var det snack om att alla hade skrivkramp och inga ideer alls men nu verkar det har lossnat och det bara kommer fler och fler nya. Vilket är jäkligt bra, Ser verkligen fram emot att se hur detta året kommer att bli.
I januari har vi premiär i vanlig ordning.
Förra veckan började vi hår träna på scenen och det går väldigt bra för oss.
De första möterna vi hade i september så var det snack om att alla hade skrivkramp och inga ideer alls men nu verkar det har lossnat och det bara kommer fler och fler nya. Vilket är jäkligt bra, Ser verkligen fram emot att se hur detta året kommer att bli.
I januari har vi premiär i vanlig ordning.
tisdag 20 oktober 2015
Karate Tävling
Ja då har man återhämtat sig efter ännu en intensiv och lång helg.
Fredag eftermiddag for man ner till stockholm för att sova hos kusinen för att sedan på lördagen ta en taxi in till träningslokalen och tävla.
Var där kl 08:00 på morgonen för att känna in ruet och kolla in konkurrensen för min klubb kamrat som skulle ha sin först match före lunch.
KL 09:00 startade alla barn tävlingarna, I första matchen för min klubb kamrat blev det ett brons, sedan var det ganska lång väntan för honom till eftermiddags match då han skulle ha sin fajt match även där tog hans brons. Detta var Hampus första tävlings någonsin han gjorde ett riktigt bra jobb. Grattis Hampus.
Min första match var vid ca 15 tiden, jag gjorde min kata och när jag är färdig och har pratat med min coach lite så hör jag dom ropa mitt namn på mattan bredvid för fajten. Då blev de panik, var inte på schemat att min andra match skulle komma så tidigt in på så det blev springa och hämta skydden och lämna första mattan [Jag var klar på den mattan så de gjorde inte så mycket] hoppa på matta två och där står man och ska hälsa på domarna då hög jag i högtalarna att jag har fått brons på en första mattan, jag kollar på domarna från den mattan och visar att jag ska till att köra match här så min coach får ta min medalj där. sedan var det bara detta kvar fajtas mot tjejer som väger ca 13 kilo mer än mig och är bra mycket längre för att jag fick gå upp några klasser där med. Tog ett brons där med.
Så sammanlagt till Ådalens Karate Klubb blev det 4 brons medaljer.
Direkt efter tävlingen så åkte vi hela vägen hem igen. Blev en riktigt lång lördag. Men jag hade riktigt kul och det tror jag dom andra hade också.
Over And out
~Lily
Fredag eftermiddag for man ner till stockholm för att sova hos kusinen för att sedan på lördagen ta en taxi in till träningslokalen och tävla.
Var där kl 08:00 på morgonen för att känna in ruet och kolla in konkurrensen för min klubb kamrat som skulle ha sin först match före lunch.
KL 09:00 startade alla barn tävlingarna, I första matchen för min klubb kamrat blev det ett brons, sedan var det ganska lång väntan för honom till eftermiddags match då han skulle ha sin fajt match även där tog hans brons. Detta var Hampus första tävlings någonsin han gjorde ett riktigt bra jobb. Grattis Hampus.
Min första match var vid ca 15 tiden, jag gjorde min kata och när jag är färdig och har pratat med min coach lite så hör jag dom ropa mitt namn på mattan bredvid för fajten. Då blev de panik, var inte på schemat att min andra match skulle komma så tidigt in på så det blev springa och hämta skydden och lämna första mattan [Jag var klar på den mattan så de gjorde inte så mycket] hoppa på matta två och där står man och ska hälsa på domarna då hög jag i högtalarna att jag har fått brons på en första mattan, jag kollar på domarna från den mattan och visar att jag ska till att köra match här så min coach får ta min medalj där. sedan var det bara detta kvar fajtas mot tjejer som väger ca 13 kilo mer än mig och är bra mycket längre för att jag fick gå upp några klasser där med. Tog ett brons där med.
Så sammanlagt till Ådalens Karate Klubb blev det 4 brons medaljer.
Direkt efter tävlingen så åkte vi hela vägen hem igen. Blev en riktigt lång lördag. Men jag hade riktigt kul och det tror jag dom andra hade också.
Over And out
~Lily
lördag 17 oktober 2015
längtar tills tävlingen
ligger i brorsans säng i hans lägenhet och taggar inför morgondagens tävling. Känns som om man inte kan somna men man får försöka komma till ro så man är lite pigg i morgon. Kommer bli en otroligt lång dag då mina matcher är på eftermiddagen och jag kommer vara där till 8 på morgonen. Men de är de värt då får man lite inblick i dom andra som ska tävla och lite grann hur det går till var ju ändå några år sedan sist. Göra som man brukar göra när man ska stå på scenen,känna in rummet och mattan. :)
kommer bli en bra dag i morgon. :) längtar.
kommer bli en bra dag i morgon. :) längtar.
fredag 16 oktober 2015
Karate
Ja då är det bara några få timmar kvar tills man drar i väg till Stockholm.
Ska vara med i min första tävling på flera år och det ska bli väldigt kul och intressant då man har gått från Junior till senior sedan sist. :D
Vi är två stycken från min Karate klubb som ska tävla denna gången. Så vi får hoppas på bra placeringar.
Förra helgen hade vi läger och då kom Brommas karate klubb o.ch Höganäs karateklubb upp hit till oss och vi hade två intensiva och jätte roliga dagar.
Var väldigt kul att träffa gamla vänner från Bromma klubben, prata lite gamla minnen, prata vad som händer i varandras liv just nu och så. De va riktigt kul faktiskt.
När jag kommer hem i från stockholm tänkte jag lägga ut lite bilder och skriva lite mer vad som händer just nu. är så fokuserad på tävlingen just nu. :)
Ha en bra helg
Over and out
~Lily
Ska vara med i min första tävling på flera år och det ska bli väldigt kul och intressant då man har gått från Junior till senior sedan sist. :D
Vi är två stycken från min Karate klubb som ska tävla denna gången. Så vi får hoppas på bra placeringar.
Förra helgen hade vi läger och då kom Brommas karate klubb o.ch Höganäs karateklubb upp hit till oss och vi hade två intensiva och jätte roliga dagar.
Var väldigt kul att träffa gamla vänner från Bromma klubben, prata lite gamla minnen, prata vad som händer i varandras liv just nu och så. De va riktigt kul faktiskt.
När jag kommer hem i från stockholm tänkte jag lägga ut lite bilder och skriva lite mer vad som händer just nu. är så fokuserad på tävlingen just nu. :)
Ha en bra helg
Over and out
~Lily
onsdag 30 september 2015
Vila i frid min vän
"Ibland liksom hejdar sig tiden ett slag och någnting alldeles oväntat sker. Världen förändrar sig varje dag och ibland blir den aldrig detsamma mer."
Hade inte väntat mig detta. En eldsjäl som du bara lämnade oss. En glad och positiv person som spred glädje runt omkring sig som du gjorde.Det är orättvist att detta ska ske och så tidigt. Vi fick låna en ängel för en stund men den stunden var alldeles för kort. Jag och många fler saknar dig och din glädje, alltid ett leende på dina läppar.
Mina tankar går till familj och närstående och ett ljus kommer att tändas för dig varje kväll en tid framöver. Vila i frid min vän och ta hand om dig där på andra sidan.
Vi ses snart, för dig kommer det att kännas som om ingen tid alls har passerat. Många styrke kramar till dina närmaste.
En eldsjäls ängel har lämnat oss men som även alltid kommer att vaka över oss. onsdag 23 september 2015
Feelings
Våga leva de gör jag, men tid, mod, styrka och energi de är saker som jag behöver just nu. vet inte riktigt vart jag ska hämta min styrka och mitt mod ifrån den här gången. tiden kan man aldrig förlänga men man kan plocka bort saker, men vad är det för ide, de blir ju inget bättre iallafall. Och energin vart ska jag få den i från? Man kanske ska ändra texten i den där och skriva "ge mig mod och styrka, ge mig tid och energi att orka fortsätta."
De lät väl inte helt fel heller? :)
Varför känner jag mig så tung? jag vet inte vad jag ska göra och inte heller vad jag vill eller bör säga.. Jag vill bara sätta mig och skrika rakt ut. Jag orkar kroppsligen inget mer, varför tjuras man på och försöker när man vet att det inte kommer att gå. Allt är som ett enda mörker. Ingenting känns roligt längre,
Jag vet inte... jag vet ingenting, hur kan det komma sig? jag funderar och funderar men jag vet ändå ingenting. jag är helt borta. Jag är helt tom, fullständigt tom. precis som ett tomt glas. precis som universum. ett ända stort svart hål typ. =/ Jag vet inte vad jag ska göra, vem jag ska vara, vem jag är, vad jag håller på med.. Jag vet ingenting.... =(
tisdag 22 september 2015
Alot of work.
Okey sorry for not typing for awhile again. :P
i have my ass full at the moment.
School and paper to write, theater and music, and training 6 days a week, preparing for a show and preparing for competitions in Karate.
So there is much to write in school and for the theater and music atm, and a lot of training. :)
I'm trying to type when i can but some days am i so tired im not have anything to type cuz my head is all blank.
In January do we have premier for the Theater, if you are around here by that time come and watch it. :) Its nice to be back again, training, doing my theater and my music and study again. Im starting to get back my life i had before i moved to the south.
Time to finishes my paper for school.
Have a nice day
Over and out
~ LIly
tisdag 25 augusti 2015
Theater meeting tonight.
So happy today, the theater is starting up today. And i have some work to do before the meeting tonight. So its time for me to me alot creative. :) This is gonna be so nice.
And in 2 days do i start training Karate again alot more happy. :) Im so back in business again.
And next week does my school start also.
I have alot going on now, and im happy about it.
Tomorrow do i get my livingroom stuff and my new bed. This cant be better.
Atm im a lissen on some music and trying to wake up with some coffee, then its time to do some theater work.
I know i havent typed that often for a while now but i have been down in a black hole for a few weeks. I have had some problems and being depressed. But im back in the saddle and im about to get better.
well i guess its time for some theater work. here is an old picture from over 3 years ago when i was in the theater group before i moved down to my ex and stoped with theaer and music. One of my misstake, i will never stop with music or theater again for anyone. =)
And in 2 days do i start training Karate again alot more happy. :) Im so back in business again.
And next week does my school start also.
I have alot going on now, and im happy about it.
Tomorrow do i get my livingroom stuff and my new bed. This cant be better.
Atm im a lissen on some music and trying to wake up with some coffee, then its time to do some theater work.
I know i havent typed that often for a while now but i have been down in a black hole for a few weeks. I have had some problems and being depressed. But im back in the saddle and im about to get better.
well i guess its time for some theater work. here is an old picture from over 3 years ago when i was in the theater group before i moved down to my ex and stoped with theaer and music. One of my misstake, i will never stop with music or theater again for anyone. =)
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| Its me in the baby suit |
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| Lily - got you! |
onsdag 19 augusti 2015
Feelings
Im gonna write about stuff i normaly dosent write about. How i feel and so on.
I really dont know how i feel atm, i dont want to feel. To much will catch up with me if i feel everything at the same time and i dont want to hit that wall of emotions and brake down. Somedays i just dont want to feel anything and being with myself and my dog and not think of anyone or anything else.
7 juni 2014 did a friend of mine died and in august same year was the funeral for her. I havent really morn her until now. I couldnt believe that she was gone. so i have closed my feelings today and im just ride on the wave.
I have had a hell of a month with feelings and depression and i dont know alot. So this is my way to get back to myself. Closing myself for a day to be stronger tomorrow and deal with what i have to. Well technically have i closed myself the whole month. i have done stuff just to not be able to think or stoped to start think.
Oh speaking of doing stuff next week is everything starting again.
The theater, karate and stuff im doing.
Happy me.
Well
Over and out
~
Lily
I really dont know how i feel atm, i dont want to feel. To much will catch up with me if i feel everything at the same time and i dont want to hit that wall of emotions and brake down. Somedays i just dont want to feel anything and being with myself and my dog and not think of anyone or anything else.
7 juni 2014 did a friend of mine died and in august same year was the funeral for her. I havent really morn her until now. I couldnt believe that she was gone. so i have closed my feelings today and im just ride on the wave.
I have had a hell of a month with feelings and depression and i dont know alot. So this is my way to get back to myself. Closing myself for a day to be stronger tomorrow and deal with what i have to. Well technically have i closed myself the whole month. i have done stuff just to not be able to think or stoped to start think.
Oh speaking of doing stuff next week is everything starting again.
The theater, karate and stuff im doing.
Happy me.
Well
Over and out
~
Lily
tisdag 11 augusti 2015
Creativemode
Today did i allmost finnish the song and tomorrow will it be studio time. was a long time ago i was there now. Some music work on going. :) Awesome like hell. This weekend is all about crativemode. Theater weekend. Its gonna be nice. and sunday is all about Blues and rock'n'roll.
So its all about crative now for a few days. Im so loving my life atm. :)
Now you know my happyness so im out.
Over and out
~Lily
So its all about crative now for a few days. Im so loving my life atm. :)
Now you know my happyness so im out.
Over and out
~Lily
måndag 10 augusti 2015
Words are running around each other.
so damn unfocus today. Trying to get something done but i cant. Just sitting here in the bed thinking and thinking and nothing gets done. Trying to get a new song lyrics done but i cant get there. Trying to make an theater text but nothing there either. Trying to compose something here but it will only get confused and the words will only run around each other so im gonna stop. This is just an typical creative day for me. :p
Over and out
~ Lily
Over and out
~ Lily
torsdag 6 augusti 2015
Augusti a month where it happens alot.
There is so much that is happening this month.
Everything from my sisters child is getting a name to school is starting.
Why does everything have to happen the same month after the summer? :P
I bet all mothers and fathers out there is stressed this month, fixing for the school start, all the group activities for the kids, maybe new schools for some kids. Alot to do this month not only for me.
I dont really know what to type anymore. :P i had a plan but that just jump out from my head and run away. :P So i leave you now with the dates where im busy on this month. I bet it will be more dates later on but that is whats up atm. Im looking forward to start to train karate again was a couple of years but i was listed for the national team for my age group. So im gonna take back whats mine. A place in the team.
Dates:
8 Aug: baptism. My niece is getting her name. :)
14-16 Aug: Theater weekend with the theater group.
25 Aug: My Karate is starting up after the summer
29 Aug: invited to a concert
31 Aug: My school is starting
Have a nice day.
Over and out
~Lily
Everything from my sisters child is getting a name to school is starting.
Why does everything have to happen the same month after the summer? :P
I bet all mothers and fathers out there is stressed this month, fixing for the school start, all the group activities for the kids, maybe new schools for some kids. Alot to do this month not only for me.
I dont really know what to type anymore. :P i had a plan but that just jump out from my head and run away. :P So i leave you now with the dates where im busy on this month. I bet it will be more dates later on but that is whats up atm. Im looking forward to start to train karate again was a couple of years but i was listed for the national team for my age group. So im gonna take back whats mine. A place in the team.
Dates:
8 Aug: baptism. My niece is getting her name. :)
14-16 Aug: Theater weekend with the theater group.
25 Aug: My Karate is starting up after the summer
29 Aug: invited to a concert
31 Aug: My school is starting
Have a nice day.
Over and out
~Lily
lördag 1 augusti 2015
many thoughts
I'm sitting at work and wonder about life. I'm working on a hospital so I see much. Atm am I thinking about the brain and how it works. I mean when you get old and you forget your children or grand children. You don't know what day it is or what year. You think you are going to work or asking after your father that has been dead for ages. That's just so sad, what happens with the brain when you get old. It's fascinated how the brain work. So many questions but so little answers. Everyone can get alziemers or any other illness like that but there is so little answers about why and how to stop it to happen. I'm gonna start study about this in the end of this month and that is gonna be so much fun. To get to know more, but the funny thing is there isnt so much about it, I think I will start study the brain, I want to know what's happen.
I have been working with people with this problems for years now and I think its sad both for the person and the relative to this person. One day they doesn't know anything and the next they can be perfectly fine. The most fascinated with all this is that they go back to be kids again. Why does that happen? Like I said so many questions so little answers.
I'm working mostly nights atm, starting 9pm and ending 7 am in the morning. I'm home around 8-10am depending on what day in working. I don't have the driving license yet so I have to wait for buses and so on. Today are my friend Chilli out on flirting.missions and I will get a fully report from him later and I will type about what he has done and how it has gone for him. :) I hope I can make a flirt blog soon again for you. Well gonna do what I'm best on atm. Doing my job. Have a nice day and night.
over and out
~ Lily
I have been working with people with this problems for years now and I think its sad both for the person and the relative to this person. One day they doesn't know anything and the next they can be perfectly fine. The most fascinated with all this is that they go back to be kids again. Why does that happen? Like I said so many questions so little answers.
I'm working mostly nights atm, starting 9pm and ending 7 am in the morning. I'm home around 8-10am depending on what day in working. I don't have the driving license yet so I have to wait for buses and so on. Today are my friend Chilli out on flirting.missions and I will get a fully report from him later and I will type about what he has done and how it has gone for him. :) I hope I can make a flirt blog soon again for you. Well gonna do what I'm best on atm. Doing my job. Have a nice day and night.
over and out
~ Lily
tisdag 21 juli 2015
one mission complete, now the next one.
well this Day turned out to be pretty good even thou I haven't slept sense yesterday morning. :) sitting on the bus now about to go home from work. Around 11 am did a feel really tired but then I got some or alot of more stuff to do at work and I woke up again. :)
now to the next task of this day, keep myself up until at least 9 pm. That's gonna be a challenge. Lets hope its not mission impossible 5. :P lol yeah I did a movie reference. :) well I have 3 movies atm I haven't seen yet 2 with Jon bon jovi <3 and one with a Swedish comedian named Björn Gustavsson.
well I have misty to go out with a few time too before bed time so I think.... Maybe.... I can keep myself up for at least some hours. :)
well I'm gonna close my eyes on the bus its 45 mins before I have to go off. :)
over and out
~Lily
now to the next task of this day, keep myself up until at least 9 pm. That's gonna be a challenge. Lets hope its not mission impossible 5. :P lol yeah I did a movie reference. :) well I have 3 movies atm I haven't seen yet 2 with Jon bon jovi <3 and one with a Swedish comedian named Björn Gustavsson.
well I have misty to go out with a few time too before bed time so I think.... Maybe.... I can keep myself up for at least some hours. :)
well I'm gonna close my eyes on the bus its 45 mins before I have to go off. :)
over and out
~Lily
no sleep and off to work.
I could do anything for some sleep, but that have to wait to later tonight cuz i have to go to my bus in like 25-35 minutes.
My day.
05:00 - 05:15am going to my bus
05:50 my bus is going
06:35 my bus is at my work
06:45 im starting work
03:30pm im ending work
04:00 My bus home is going
04:50 - 05:00 Im having like 30 minutes walk home.
05:30 home at last and out with my dog
06:00 Trying to keep myself up for atleast 3-4 more hours.
08:00 - 09:00 Sleep at last.
Thats my day. Im gonna be so tired when i get home. have been up sense 9 am yesterday i couldnt sleep. :(
Well im gonna do the best of the situation like always and drick alot of coffee at work i hope it will be a calm dag at work today. Like Bonjovi is singing "I'll sleep when im dead"
Tell you guys later how it went at work being this tired. :)
Have a wonderful day.
Over and out
~Lily
My day.
05:00 - 05:15am going to my bus
05:50 my bus is going
06:35 my bus is at my work
06:45 im starting work
03:30pm im ending work
04:00 My bus home is going
04:50 - 05:00 Im having like 30 minutes walk home.
05:30 home at last and out with my dog
06:00 Trying to keep myself up for atleast 3-4 more hours.
08:00 - 09:00 Sleep at last.
Thats my day. Im gonna be so tired when i get home. have been up sense 9 am yesterday i couldnt sleep. :(
Well im gonna do the best of the situation like always and drick alot of coffee at work i hope it will be a calm dag at work today. Like Bonjovi is singing "I'll sleep when im dead"
Tell you guys later how it went at work being this tired. :)
Have a wonderful day.
Over and out
~Lily
söndag 12 juli 2015
fibromyalgia, my love and work!
Im cursed. i dont have it on paper yet but i'm apparently have fibromyalgia. And it suckes to be honest. im always tired, always pain in my body, i got easily tired when i do something like fixing in the apartment or something like that. I forget stuff some days and my eyes get foggy now and then.
Its an curse to have this, i wouldnt give it to my worse enemy. It really sucks.
I have good days and bad days and now sense i started my new work i only have had bad days mostly. All i want to do is sleep. sleep and sleep. Im trying to be up and do stuff anyway cuz i cant be laying in bed all days. Im happy that i have my wonderful dog that i can spend time with and be out with. Some ppl get puched away even thou i dont want to puch them away.
Speaking of work, now are we starting to update our server to 8.1 so we have alot to do.
Fixing the plugins for that version, rebuild the world we had but this time i think it will be more amazing. we can do so mush more in 8.1 then we could before. :)
Over and out
~ Lily
Its an curse to have this, i wouldnt give it to my worse enemy. It really sucks.
I have good days and bad days and now sense i started my new work i only have had bad days mostly. All i want to do is sleep. sleep and sleep. Im trying to be up and do stuff anyway cuz i cant be laying in bed all days. Im happy that i have my wonderful dog that i can spend time with and be out with. Some ppl get puched away even thou i dont want to puch them away.
Speaking of work, now are we starting to update our server to 8.1 so we have alot to do.
Fixing the plugins for that version, rebuild the world we had but this time i think it will be more amazing. we can do so mush more in 8.1 then we could before. :)
Over and out
~ Lily
fredag 10 juli 2015
Exes can drive you crasy
Its hard to live your own life when you have your ex up in your ass as soon as you do something he doesn't like. If i want to change number and decide not to give him that new number cuz we never talks anyway then its up to me if i dont give him that. I don't see a point giving him that number sense we are not talking more then just when he is sending me the bill for the number i have now that is in his name, I'm happy that that number is out soon and that i will get my own number in my own name next week. He can deal with giving my best friend the bill so she can send a pic on the bill to me so i can pay it only once cuz that is what is left on the number i'm having now. ONE fucking time. You can deal with it.
Its no point calling me immature cuz i want to change number cuz i dont have connection everywhere up here on this number and i need connection so i don't miss any work time if they need me, i want to go to my sister and up to the theater but at this point i cant cuz i dont have connection and i can miss my work calling. So who is the immature around here?
I'm trying not to be angry or let my ex make me mad,sad, aggravated or something else but its hard when he is doing stuff like this. I'm so looking forward to get the new number and i don't have to deal with his text msgs any more, i mean he took me away fr om facebook, skype and you name it but he is gonna bitch about me changing number. Some ppl can make you irritated for no reason.
It had been better if you just let me live my life and do what i want with my number when i want it. Its my decision if i want to change number or not, and now have i decided to change so i can get work hours even if i'm at my sisters or anywhere else where i don't have connection on this number.
Time for something fun instead.
Next month do i start studying on collage here in sweden on distance and in the beginning of september do i start with my driving license. Its gonna be nice to start my studying again and take that damn license so i don't have to ask someone else to drive me if i need to go somewhere when the bus isnt going. :P
My life starting to be good again, soon will the theater start also and im looking forward to it. I have missed to be with the gang and have fun on stage. Its gonna be so much fun. :)
Well im gonna go and spend some time with my dog now, Have fun and take care.
Over and out
~Lily
Its no point calling me immature cuz i want to change number cuz i dont have connection everywhere up here on this number and i need connection so i don't miss any work time if they need me, i want to go to my sister and up to the theater but at this point i cant cuz i dont have connection and i can miss my work calling. So who is the immature around here?
I'm trying not to be angry or let my ex make me mad,sad, aggravated or something else but its hard when he is doing stuff like this. I'm so looking forward to get the new number and i don't have to deal with his text msgs any more, i mean he took me away fr om facebook, skype and you name it but he is gonna bitch about me changing number. Some ppl can make you irritated for no reason.
It had been better if you just let me live my life and do what i want with my number when i want it. Its my decision if i want to change number or not, and now have i decided to change so i can get work hours even if i'm at my sisters or anywhere else where i don't have connection on this number.
Time for something fun instead.
Next month do i start studying on collage here in sweden on distance and in the beginning of september do i start with my driving license. Its gonna be nice to start my studying again and take that damn license so i don't have to ask someone else to drive me if i need to go somewhere when the bus isnt going. :P
My life starting to be good again, soon will the theater start also and im looking forward to it. I have missed to be with the gang and have fun on stage. Its gonna be so much fun. :)
Well im gonna go and spend some time with my dog now, Have fun and take care.
Over and out
~Lily
söndag 5 juli 2015
All about work
im not looking forward to next week. :P Im working 5 out of 7 days. mostly mornings. i'm not a morning person. but what don't you do for work. :P Tomorrow do i have evening so my week starting off pretty good anyhow. :P But the rest of the week only mornings. well well that will work anyway. I love my new work, working on the hospital i was laying on a week ago. :P Pretty fun to be honest.
So today is all about my dog and just taking it easy so im not to tired tomorrow. =)
Havent been talking with my Friend Chili in awhile so i don't know anything new about the flirting study we where about to do. Well its summer and a lot of work for us summer worker/time worker when the others have vacation. I want to have 4 weeks of vacation as well and getting payed for it. :P That had been nice hadn't it? :P
well gonna be with my dog now and just chillaxe abit. :)
lördag 27 juni 2015
Hosptial and no stress.
Nothing is so fun as an Hospital visit. Was there for a couple of hours took like 51 tests, They took a lot of blood from me. :( They checked everything in my upper body sense i had so much pain in my Belly i couldn't stand up for to long. So now im sore in my arm after the needle and my finger after some other tests and my belly is going on and off on the pain. Will take a few days before the pain starting to go away and if it doesn't... Well an other visit on the hospital. Funny thing is thou i'm working there aswell. so i was laying on my work having my collages checking me. :P they have to do something for they payoff right? xD
Im having a nice moment now with my pain so that why i can sit here and type some, cuz as soon as the pain comes i cant sit straight up. :( that sucks. And my doctor told me no Stress. How the fuck im a suppose to not Stress? :O Im a girl that like to have a lot of things to do at once, I'm living by myself with my cute dog, I see a lot of things that i have to do but i cant stress. I need to vakkum, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning in my office, and so on. And my doc told me to take it easy the first days at least. Well take it easy for me is doing nothing, laying in bed watching a movie. Well i guess the cleaning and stuff can wait a couple of days don't you think? :P
But saying no stress is like saying no cigarettes for someone that is smoking. A well, gonna take it easy a few days at least. =)
Im having the most amazing dog every anyway, she is taking care of me, laying beside me checking me all the time. Doesn't do much when i'm sick. she is just enjoying my company in bed. =)
Well gonna go and lay down for abit again,
Have a nice day everyone. =) <3
Over and out
~Lily
Im having a nice moment now with my pain so that why i can sit here and type some, cuz as soon as the pain comes i cant sit straight up. :( that sucks. And my doctor told me no Stress. How the fuck im a suppose to not Stress? :O Im a girl that like to have a lot of things to do at once, I'm living by myself with my cute dog, I see a lot of things that i have to do but i cant stress. I need to vakkum, doing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning in my office, and so on. And my doc told me to take it easy the first days at least. Well take it easy for me is doing nothing, laying in bed watching a movie. Well i guess the cleaning and stuff can wait a couple of days don't you think? :P
But saying no stress is like saying no cigarettes for someone that is smoking. A well, gonna take it easy a few days at least. =)
Im having the most amazing dog every anyway, she is taking care of me, laying beside me checking me all the time. Doesn't do much when i'm sick. she is just enjoying my company in bed. =)
Well gonna go and lay down for abit again,
Have a nice day everyone. =) <3
Over and out
~Lily
tisdag 23 juni 2015
I bit everywhere again.
Now is everything done with my Ex and i have got my beautiful Dog back. My Beautiful Chihuahua.
Im now living with myself and my dog for now, waiting for my wonderful boyfriend coming over from chicago to live with me. <3 Otherwise i got in on collage here in sweden im gonna specialize as an nurse assistance. So i have 2 years of studying infornt of me now. =)
Im trying to put together an other flirt blog but me and my friend Chilli hasnt been out to try some of them out cuz he has been working his ass off these months. =)
Im trying to put together an other flirt blog but me and my friend Chilli hasnt been out to try some of them out cuz he has been working his ass off these months. =)
Im back at owner on the server www.pixelnexus.net to join the website and mc.pixelnexus.net to join the game. Its and minecraft pixelmon server version 3.4.
Well im gonna go now and do some stuff before i go over to my sister to cuddle with the kids. <3
Have a nice days. <3
söndag 24 maj 2015
Abit here and there!
Blah, i dont have a pc for atleast a week. That dosen't feel good at all. Well you can find me on the servers website or on skype if u need any help on the server. =) Speaking of nothing, tomorrow is monday and monday means payout. and it also means that they are comming to pick up my pc for service.
otherwise will i just sitt here and miss my beloved pc. :P i might put together something for an other flirt blog im thinking of doing an own blog for that so it dosent get confused with the gaming, music and theaters im writing about here too, im not sure yet what to do. What do you think? should i make an new blog for the flirting part or stay like this? and if i do an other blog for it what should i name it? pls give me some options. =)
Yesterday did sweden win the Eurovision song contest 2015. Congratulation Måns Zelmerlöw. The song heroes is a really good song about how we should be the heroes for our children and all the kids out there. every kid deserve a rolemodel. Eurovision song contest 2016 will be in sweden, good job Måns, u took back the title to us. ;) The wuestion everyone wants to know now is where will it be held? Stockholm, göteborg or malmö? that is an question we will get an answer on later i guess. Looking forward to have eurovison in sweden again.
it feels good that the summer is allmost here now, the sun is shining and people have started to walk around in shorts and playing soccer outside my window. it will be nice to walk around in the sun and just chillout, especially by the beach. the days of feel good is here.
An other song has been added to my notebook. I wrote an other one yesterday when i was sitting on the balcony enjoying the first days of summer. im trying to keep up fixing music for them but it dosent semse like i can, the lyrics is just poping out from me so i have alot of songs but allmost no music for them atm. :P I guess that is an good thing then it will never be an end of it. :)
Well gonna go and chillout in the sun now and just wait for this week to end so i have a pc again.
~Lily
otherwise will i just sitt here and miss my beloved pc. :P i might put together something for an other flirt blog im thinking of doing an own blog for that so it dosent get confused with the gaming, music and theaters im writing about here too, im not sure yet what to do. What do you think? should i make an new blog for the flirting part or stay like this? and if i do an other blog for it what should i name it? pls give me some options. =)
Yesterday did sweden win the Eurovision song contest 2015. Congratulation Måns Zelmerlöw. The song heroes is a really good song about how we should be the heroes for our children and all the kids out there. every kid deserve a rolemodel. Eurovision song contest 2016 will be in sweden, good job Måns, u took back the title to us. ;) The wuestion everyone wants to know now is where will it be held? Stockholm, göteborg or malmö? that is an question we will get an answer on later i guess. Looking forward to have eurovison in sweden again.
it feels good that the summer is allmost here now, the sun is shining and people have started to walk around in shorts and playing soccer outside my window. it will be nice to walk around in the sun and just chillout, especially by the beach. the days of feel good is here.
An other song has been added to my notebook. I wrote an other one yesterday when i was sitting on the balcony enjoying the first days of summer. im trying to keep up fixing music for them but it dosent semse like i can, the lyrics is just poping out from me so i have alot of songs but allmost no music for them atm. :P I guess that is an good thing then it will never be an end of it. :)
Well gonna go and chillout in the sun now and just wait for this week to end so i have a pc again.
~Lily
lördag 23 maj 2015
PixelNexus is now open for buissnes
while i'm sitting here or rather lying here i can announce that the new server is up. =)
A pixelmon server 1.7.10 with the 3.9 update of pixelmon mod.
The website is still under construction but you can still join it and be there. =)
www.pixelnexus.net
The ip for joining the game is mc.pixelnexus.net
we also have a youtube channel named Pixelnexus.
Sadly i dont have a pc that can handel Minecraft atm until chili is comming over tomorrow with a pc for me i can borrow while mine is on service in germany. :( R.I.P my pc. So you wont see me for a day. but i will join u guys as soon as i can. But i wish that you guys will have fun even if im not there to welcome you. =)
So im saying welcome here insteed. =)
Join the fun at mc.pixelnexus.net
~Lily
A pixelmon server 1.7.10 with the 3.9 update of pixelmon mod.
The website is still under construction but you can still join it and be there. =)
www.pixelnexus.net
The ip for joining the game is mc.pixelnexus.net
we also have a youtube channel named Pixelnexus.
Sadly i dont have a pc that can handel Minecraft atm until chili is comming over tomorrow with a pc for me i can borrow while mine is on service in germany. :( R.I.P my pc. So you wont see me for a day. but i will join u guys as soon as i can. But i wish that you guys will have fun even if im not there to welcome you. =)
So im saying welcome here insteed. =)
Join the fun at mc.pixelnexus.net
~Lily
fredag 22 maj 2015
Suprice moments!
On the boat.
I was laying here on the floor in my apartment fixing a scrapbook painting for myself just because i had boring and wanted to do something creative and while i was doing that it hit me that me and my friend Chili have tried a flirting tip when we where on a boat trip a couple of weeks ago and i haven't thought about it until now. =P
Or i did kind of what they do in How i meet your mother actually now when i think about it. And it worked for us. But your best bet is to have a friend that is a girl for this, we haven't tried it like they actually do in the episodes. You know how Barney do this every night for Ted "haave you meet Ted?" and just leave? well good, that is kind of what i did for Chili. :P
I went in on the bathroom and i can promise you my first thought wasn't to get a date for Chili. :P But when i was standing there in line i heard some girls talking with and about an other girl that was in there and when one of her friends went out i told her to make her friend talk with my friend over there and she was like Okay.
And i went back in and people start talking with me so i was there for a good 20 minutes and that girl i wanted to talk with Chili went out from the bathroom and all her friends run up to her and told her to talk with him, so she did. and when i came out guess what they had been talking for allmost 20 minutes when i came out and they where with each-other the whole night on the boat.
Well i know what you guys thinks, did they sleep with each-other..
The answer on that one is No they didn't but they change numbers and still have contact with each-other today. Well after a few weeks they are only friends but the point i want to come to is that the suprice moment is one of the best things to get to a girl.
The human brain is build like that, if something suprices us, we want to get to know more 9 out of 10 times.
~ Lily
tisdag 12 maj 2015
The new server is soon up.
Moving everything from the old server to the new server now. =)
In a couple of hours will the new server be up. =)
Hope ill see some new faces on there. I realezes the Website for the server when the server is up.
The Ip will be on the websites forum so u easy can get it and join the fun with me. =)
Building amazing things and be part of something that will grow into something big.
Amazing staff that has worked day and night to get this server to get up and wounderful players that have been patiens with us and this moving. Thanks everyone. =)
Gonna keep on moving the last things now.
Over and out
~Lily
In a couple of hours will the new server be up. =)
Hope ill see some new faces on there. I realezes the Website for the server when the server is up.
The Ip will be on the websites forum so u easy can get it and join the fun with me. =)
Building amazing things and be part of something that will grow into something big.
Amazing staff that has worked day and night to get this server to get up and wounderful players that have been patiens with us and this moving. Thanks everyone. =)
Gonna keep on moving the last things now.
Over and out
~Lily
måndag 11 maj 2015
Gaming
Between the flirts on my blog i will put in something about Gaming.
Yeah ik this blog is about a little bit of this and alittle bit of that atm.
Im gonna move the flirt blog to an other later as soon as i have a good name for it. =)
You are welcome to give me name suggestions. =)
But back to my gaming.
My and my friends server is moving to an new Ip adress and a new website now. We had a minor problem so i had to redo some things of the website but its up and running now even thou we still are changing some stuff on the site. =) The new server will be open one of these days cuz we are moving everything from the old one to the new one so players dosent have to start all over again. =)
I like to mess around with designs and so on. I get to use my creative side, I have alot of that side. Everything i do is creative most of the time anyway. Music, theater, buildings on the server, Webdesigns, blogdesigns, drawing, writing, yeah i think you got it. :)
Well back to the webdesign so i have one lesser thing on my mind for today. =)
Over and out
~Lily
Yeah ik this blog is about a little bit of this and alittle bit of that atm.
Im gonna move the flirt blog to an other later as soon as i have a good name for it. =)
You are welcome to give me name suggestions. =)
But back to my gaming.
My and my friends server is moving to an new Ip adress and a new website now. We had a minor problem so i had to redo some things of the website but its up and running now even thou we still are changing some stuff on the site. =) The new server will be open one of these days cuz we are moving everything from the old one to the new one so players dosent have to start all over again. =)
I like to mess around with designs and so on. I get to use my creative side, I have alot of that side. Everything i do is creative most of the time anyway. Music, theater, buildings on the server, Webdesigns, blogdesigns, drawing, writing, yeah i think you got it. :)
Well back to the webdesign so i have one lesser thing on my mind for today. =)
Over and out
~Lily
torsdag 7 maj 2015
The first of the flirt Blog
Are u a guy that has trouble getting a girl?
Dont you have the confidence to ask a girl out?
Dont you think that girl wants to go out with you cuz you are different and not that good looking as you think u has to be?
Well dont let that girl go, U only have one chance before she starting to like someone else.
Me and my Friend Pontus also called Chili will help you. This blog will be about how you get that girl you like, We will put up tips how you get her. We will also do alot of test out in the world, what flirt tip that is working the best, and how it went for Chili.
Chili is a guy that is not a good looking guy. Here is some information about Chili.
Chili is a guy that is born november 1990 so he will turn 25 this year, He is a gamer, he spend alot of time by his pc and playing online games and other games. He like to take photos and be out in the nature but sometimes to lazy to go out. He like watch movies and being with his friends. He isn't drinking any alcohol or he doesn't smoke or have never taken drugs. I can't say he has this education because his education is all around the world, psychology he has drug education, he has also study human behaviour. So his education is all over the place, He is an hipster that is living with his parents in a small town up in the north part of Sweden.
Me and chili has different educations and we have different ways to see stuff on so he and me is doing this together cuz together we know alot and we have seen alot, Im a girl so i will be the one that look on stuff with girls eyes.
Dont you have the confidence to ask a girl out?
Dont you think that girl wants to go out with you cuz you are different and not that good looking as you think u has to be?
Well dont let that girl go, U only have one chance before she starting to like someone else.
Me and my Friend Pontus also called Chili will help you. This blog will be about how you get that girl you like, We will put up tips how you get her. We will also do alot of test out in the world, what flirt tip that is working the best, and how it went for Chili.
Chili is a guy that is not a good looking guy. Here is some information about Chili.
Chili is a guy that is born november 1990 so he will turn 25 this year, He is a gamer, he spend alot of time by his pc and playing online games and other games. He like to take photos and be out in the nature but sometimes to lazy to go out. He like watch movies and being with his friends. He isn't drinking any alcohol or he doesn't smoke or have never taken drugs. I can't say he has this education because his education is all around the world, psychology he has drug education, he has also study human behaviour. So his education is all over the place, He is an hipster that is living with his parents in a small town up in the north part of Sweden.
An average guy that is more of a friend then a relationship type. Atleast that is what he has been told over the years. He is not the hunk and he has trouble getting a girl just like you have. So this blog will star to be about how to get a girl if you are an average buy and not an hunk.
Everyone knows that all hunks get all the girls allready, they dont have to "work" that hard to get a girl. My and chilis work will might get u a girl or why not that speciall girl you want.
This is just the starting of this project me and Chili has started, and about Chili the test subject. =)
Everyone knows that all hunks get all the girls allready, they dont have to "work" that hard to get a girl. My and chilis work will might get u a girl or why not that speciall girl you want.
This is just the starting of this project me and Chili has started, and about Chili the test subject. =)
Me and chili has different educations and we have different ways to see stuff on so he and me is doing this together cuz together we know alot and we have seen alot, Im a girl so i will be the one that look on stuff with girls eyes.
Well now you know what is going on and i hope this will help you guys to get the confidence to ask that girl out or get the confidence to get a girl out.
Over and out
~Lily
onsdag 6 maj 2015
A new idea.
Me and my best Friend Pontus has started on an Blog idea, i will announce later what the idea is so this blog will not just be about my Minecraft server and myself anymore it will also be this idea me and my friend have. We just started to work on it today so i think the idea will come up here in a few days.
Im so excited that this is going to happen, and i hope alot of people will have use of it.
I hope this will be good. =)
Well off to work on the idea now. =)
Over and out
~Lily
~Lily
fredag 24 april 2015
Minecraft
Speaking of my and my friends Minecraft server i found this video a couple of days ago now will i share it with you. This is one of my friends that is making this video for our server.
Minecraft server
Minecraft server
tisdag 21 april 2015
New stuff going on on the server.
New stuff going on on my and my friends server. New website and new server ip.
Well the website is done we are just waiting on the rest. =)
Otherwise is it time for my xray for my back, going to do that tomorrow. Gonna be interesting to see the result, in a few days what can be wrong with my back. Well something has to be wrong sense my back is fucked up and hates me.
Well time to take care of the server.
~Lily
Well the website is done we are just waiting on the rest. =)
Otherwise is it time for my xray for my back, going to do that tomorrow. Gonna be interesting to see the result, in a few days what can be wrong with my back. Well something has to be wrong sense my back is fucked up and hates me.
Well time to take care of the server.
~Lily
söndag 19 april 2015
Relaxing... what is that?
When u are used to work your ass off its hard to cut the power off buttom and just do nothing for awile. But im starting to learn how to do it. You just cut off the lines that has with your work to do. Like im doing atm.
No Servertime for me for atleast 2 hour, No Music for atleast until tomorrow, Cutting of my phone so noone can call me and just keep my skype going so i can talk with my friends and being here on the blog doing nothing.
That is my way to relax abit and just taking care of myself.
People tells me regulary that im working to much. Maybe thay are right, im having an hard time saying No somedays. I need to start learn how to do that more often. I like to have alot to do but its starting to get to much, that why i might like to going with the boat and just relaxing to awsome shows with an beer and singing karaoke, its the only way to get away from the reality and just relaxing abit.
Well time to see a movie, i dont know what movie yet but i let you know if it was a good movie or not when i have choosen one and seen it. :P
~Lily
No Servertime for me for atleast 2 hour, No Music for atleast until tomorrow, Cutting of my phone so noone can call me and just keep my skype going so i can talk with my friends and being here on the blog doing nothing.
That is my way to relax abit and just taking care of myself.
People tells me regulary that im working to much. Maybe thay are right, im having an hard time saying No somedays. I need to start learn how to do that more often. I like to have alot to do but its starting to get to much, that why i might like to going with the boat and just relaxing to awsome shows with an beer and singing karaoke, its the only way to get away from the reality and just relaxing abit.
Well time to see a movie, i dont know what movie yet but i let you know if it was a good movie or not when i have choosen one and seen it. :P
~Lily
lördag 18 april 2015
Where is the easier way to walk?
Why should it be so difficult?
Why cant anything be easy for once?
What have i done to get so much difficultness around me?
I cant handel this atm.
Well time to bite in the apple and move on and trying to find an easier way to walk.
Why cant anything be easy for once?
What have i done to get so much difficultness around me?
I cant handel this atm.
Well time to bite in the apple and move on and trying to find an easier way to walk.
fredag 17 april 2015
A farewell to 7 years of my past.
I will write this in swedish cuz its for my fosterparents. Its a big goodbye and a farewell to my past. I dont want to have them around me anymore and i dont want to think of them either. so this is nothing i want to write in english, But i dont want to hide the truth anymore.
Jag vet inte riktigt hur jag ska börja detta inlägg. Lika bra att ta det från början kanske.
september 2005 blev jag placerad hos er, jag skulle bo hos er 2-3 dagar i veckan till att börja med. Sedan årskiftet 05-06 flyttade jag på heltid in hos er. Jag skulle äntligen få komma hem till mina vänner igen efter 6 månader i från dom. Jag skulle få börjar på min gamla skola igen och allting kändes bra. Jag hade inge större förväntningar på att få flytta hem till er. Vilket senare visade sig vara sanna förväntningar, men dit kommer vi senare. Allting verkade bra med att bo hos er, ni lät mig umgås med mina vänner, vara med olika djur och vara med lite överallt och lära mig nya saker.
Sedan kom min första gång jag rymde då jag inte fick umgås med min pojkvän jag hade på den tiden. Rymde och for i väg på en fest med honom. Ni kom och hämtade mig dagen efter och ni var inte alls glada, själv var jag 15 år och brydde mig inte direkt. jag ville vara med min pojkvän och mina vänner. Jag skötte knappt skolan, jag var där på matten, musiken och svenskan resten sket jag blanka fan i.
Sedan kom första sommaren hos er och ni hade redan börjat dragit åt tyglarna om mig. tagit bort så jag inte fick göra allt. Ni fick mig att sluta träna karate där jag hade chansen att komma med i landslaget i Kumite, vägrade att köra mig dit för att ni inte förstod vad det handlade om.
Jag rymde en gång till den sommaren då hade jag bott hos er i 6 månader. Denna gången var ni ute och letade efter mig hela natten och när ni hittar mig så skadar ni min pojkvän, det ger ju bra intryck hos den 15 åriga flicka ni hade hos er. Ni trodde att han hade fått mig att rymma, men så är inte fallet, jag rymde självmant. Och där började ni dra in mera saker för mig, det var ett under att jag fick gå på mina egna shower på gymnasiet, hade ni kunnat hade ni nog dragit in dom med.
Jag gick till skolan, åkte till eran firma och sedan hem för att ta hand om ERA hästar. Hade jag inga shower så var det så min vardag såg ut under gymnasie tiden. Jag fick inte ens gå på mina egna studentfester. Jag gick på e studentfest under hela sista året. Jag var på några klass fester under 3 års tid men det var dom gånger man tjatade till sig det och då hämtade ni en jävligt tidigt.
Jag van trivdes hos er från andra året 2007 på gymnasiet tills jag flyttade 2012.
När jag slutade Gymnasiet så fick jag erbjudande om att vara med i västansjös revy, dom bara ville ha mig där. dom hade sett mig på scenen under gymnasietiden och ville att jag skulle börja på revyn. Jag tackade självklart ja eftersom det är det jag brinner för, Teater och musik. Ni var inte alls över förtjust i det, men vet ni vet jag brydde mig inte. tekniskt sett var jag inte placerad hos er längre för jag hade slutat gymnasiet och det var då erat kontrakt på mig gick ut. Jag hade hittat min nya plats, jag älskade att vara på revyn men jag gjorde även allt som ni bad mig också. Jag städade ERAT hus, tog hand om ERA hästar och ERA andra djur.
Och när man flyttar ifrån sina fosterföräldrar till en pojkvän eller något så är det eran skyldighet att skicka räkningarna så inte erat barn hamnar i en stor skuld smäll. Det är eran skyldighet att se till så erat barn får en bra start utanför eran familj.
Ni lärde mig mycket, bland annat lärde ni mig hur man inte ska ta hand om barn, ni lärde mig bokföring och skruva i bilar, ni lärde mig hur man inte ska ta hand om ett företag och hur man tar hand om ett företag, ni lärde mig om travhästar och ni lärde mig att inte lita på människor.
september 2005 blev jag placerad hos er, jag skulle bo hos er 2-3 dagar i veckan till att börja med. Sedan årskiftet 05-06 flyttade jag på heltid in hos er. Jag skulle äntligen få komma hem till mina vänner igen efter 6 månader i från dom. Jag skulle få börjar på min gamla skola igen och allting kändes bra. Jag hade inge större förväntningar på att få flytta hem till er. Vilket senare visade sig vara sanna förväntningar, men dit kommer vi senare. Allting verkade bra med att bo hos er, ni lät mig umgås med mina vänner, vara med olika djur och vara med lite överallt och lära mig nya saker.
Sedan kom min första gång jag rymde då jag inte fick umgås med min pojkvän jag hade på den tiden. Rymde och for i väg på en fest med honom. Ni kom och hämtade mig dagen efter och ni var inte alls glada, själv var jag 15 år och brydde mig inte direkt. jag ville vara med min pojkvän och mina vänner. Jag skötte knappt skolan, jag var där på matten, musiken och svenskan resten sket jag blanka fan i.
Sedan kom första sommaren hos er och ni hade redan börjat dragit åt tyglarna om mig. tagit bort så jag inte fick göra allt. Ni fick mig att sluta träna karate där jag hade chansen att komma med i landslaget i Kumite, vägrade att köra mig dit för att ni inte förstod vad det handlade om.
Jag rymde en gång till den sommaren då hade jag bott hos er i 6 månader. Denna gången var ni ute och letade efter mig hela natten och när ni hittar mig så skadar ni min pojkvän, det ger ju bra intryck hos den 15 åriga flicka ni hade hos er. Ni trodde att han hade fått mig att rymma, men så är inte fallet, jag rymde självmant. Och där började ni dra in mera saker för mig, det var ett under att jag fick gå på mina egna shower på gymnasiet, hade ni kunnat hade ni nog dragit in dom med.
Jag gick till skolan, åkte till eran firma och sedan hem för att ta hand om ERA hästar. Hade jag inga shower så var det så min vardag såg ut under gymnasie tiden. Jag fick inte ens gå på mina egna studentfester. Jag gick på e studentfest under hela sista året. Jag var på några klass fester under 3 års tid men det var dom gånger man tjatade till sig det och då hämtade ni en jävligt tidigt.
Jag van trivdes hos er från andra året 2007 på gymnasiet tills jag flyttade 2012.
När jag slutade Gymnasiet så fick jag erbjudande om att vara med i västansjös revy, dom bara ville ha mig där. dom hade sett mig på scenen under gymnasietiden och ville att jag skulle börja på revyn. Jag tackade självklart ja eftersom det är det jag brinner för, Teater och musik. Ni var inte alls över förtjust i det, men vet ni vet jag brydde mig inte. tekniskt sett var jag inte placerad hos er längre för jag hade slutat gymnasiet och det var då erat kontrakt på mig gick ut. Jag hade hittat min nya plats, jag älskade att vara på revyn men jag gjorde även allt som ni bad mig också. Jag städade ERAT hus, tog hand om ERA hästar och ERA andra djur.
Min bästa tid hos er var när jag började på revyn, på revyn kunde jag vara mig själv och ingen dömde mig. Gjorde jag något bra så fick jag uppskattning för det. Revyn blev min nya familj. 09-12 var dom bästa åren i mitt liv medans jag bodde hos er.
Ni började dricka värre än någonsin och ja jag anmälde er till soc några gånger och det står jag för. Vara alkolister och ha fosterbarn är inte något som går bra ihop i mina ögon, eller ha fosterbarn och psykiskt misshandla dom är inte heller okey i mina ögon. Det är inte meningen att barn som har flyttat till fosterfamilj för att dom har problem med sina föräldrar ska komma till en fosterfamilj och få mer problem.Och när man flyttar ifrån sina fosterföräldrar till en pojkvän eller något så är det eran skyldighet att skicka räkningarna så inte erat barn hamnar i en stor skuld smäll. Det är eran skyldighet att se till så erat barn får en bra start utanför eran familj.
Ni lärde mig mycket, bland annat lärde ni mig hur man inte ska ta hand om barn, ni lärde mig bokföring och skruva i bilar, ni lärde mig hur man inte ska ta hand om ett företag och hur man tar hand om ett företag, ni lärde mig om travhästar och ni lärde mig att inte lita på människor.
Detta är mitt farväl till er, min sanning. Detta är inte allt detta är bara en del av hela sanningen. Men det räcker för nu. Jag har tänkt länge på att göra detta och nu är det gjort. Detta är mitt sätt att göra av med en stor sten som jag har haft länge. Årskiftet 05-06 flyttade jag hit och flyttade där ifrån 2012.
onsdag 15 april 2015
Somedays
Somedays are easier then others.
Somedays it feels so good to be single and just being me, doing what i want and be what i want.
Running around in my apartment playing my boybands i lissen to when i was younger and dance the day away. :P
Other days its sucks to be honest to be alone, No one to talk with or be with when u have boring.
Im happy i have my things i do, music, theater, my game server and movies.
i have allways something to do and that is nice. =)
Yesterday and today will i just be at home being on my game server with all the crazy ppl that is there and playing. Its has become an nice little community and i hope it ill grow to somwthing bigger. Well we have to wait and see what happens. for now its just an small community where everyone is like an family. =)
Somedays it feels so good to be single and just being me, doing what i want and be what i want.
Running around in my apartment playing my boybands i lissen to when i was younger and dance the day away. :P
Other days its sucks to be honest to be alone, No one to talk with or be with when u have boring.
Im happy i have my things i do, music, theater, my game server and movies.
i have allways something to do and that is nice. =)
Yesterday and today will i just be at home being on my game server with all the crazy ppl that is there and playing. Its has become an nice little community and i hope it ill grow to somwthing bigger. Well we have to wait and see what happens. for now its just an small community where everyone is like an family. =)
måndag 13 april 2015
Nothing to say.
Well i dont k now what to say i think the last thing i wrote speaks for itself.
Well one thing can i tell u guys, i was on a trip with a friend on a boat this weekend and it was amazing. Dancing, drinking, looking on amazing shows and just had an good time.
Thinking of going with that boat again soon, its so nice to be on the boat and lissen to the good live music and see on amazing shows. People that is working there is amazing aswell, Its incredible to be on that boat, i strongly recomend everyone to come to sweden and go with that boat. =)
Birka Crusier is one of the best boats to go with. =)
Well i think that is all for now, cuz i cant tell u about the other stuff im doing atm.
~ Elli
måndag 6 april 2015
The beggining on a new life
Hey again.
It was a long time ago i wrote something now.
I have had alot to do the past coupel of month.
Me and my fiance went seperate ways and it has been alot with moving back to the north where i have my family and my music and theater.
I have been living here now for 2 month and i have started with my music and my theater again and that feels so good,
I cant wait until the fall when we start the meetings for the theater and start to practice for the winter show we do every year.
It will be so fun to start up that again. =)
Otherwise have i started to sing and do my music again and that feels also nice to be honest but its hard work allmost everyday now. But i will try to update you guys so much i can. =)
Time to start a new life. =)
Love you guys.
It was a long time ago i wrote something now.
I have had alot to do the past coupel of month.
Me and my fiance went seperate ways and it has been alot with moving back to the north where i have my family and my music and theater.
I have been living here now for 2 month and i have started with my music and my theater again and that feels so good,
I cant wait until the fall when we start the meetings for the theater and start to practice for the winter show we do every year.
It will be so fun to start up that again. =)
Otherwise have i started to sing and do my music again and that feels also nice to be honest but its hard work allmost everyday now. But i will try to update you guys so much i can. =)
Time to start a new life. =)
Love you guys.
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